SimpliPatti

Cereal is one of the most beloved and convenient meals in modern processes food culture. It’s quick, easy, and customizable—qualities that have earned it a special place in breakfast — or anytime — routines worldwide. A divisive question has emerged in recent years: Is cereal a soup? While some insist that the two share undeniable similarities, cereal should not—and must not—be considered soup. To determine whether cereal is soup, we must first define what soup is. According to the culinary definition, soup is: “A liquid dish, typically savory, made by boiling meat, fish, or vegetables in stock or water.” Key components of this definition immediately disqualify cereal: • Savory Nature: Soup is almost universally savory. Cereal, on the other hand, is a sweet dish with a few exceptions, such as the bold but misguided choice of eating Chex with chicken broth. • Cooking Process: Soup requires a process of heating or boiling to blend flavors. Cereal involves no such preparation; it is a col...

The announcement of a sequel to Beetlejuice sparked a mix of excitement and apprehension among fans of the original. While Tim Burton’s 1988 dark comedy remains a cult classic, and ai’m being very gracious here, the decision to revisit it decades later has left many wondering: why tamper with a film that was already a perfect balance of weird, wonderful, and self-contained? Or, perhaps more succinctly, how in world do expect to polish this turd? So, maybe in hindsight, it’s clear the sequel was not only unnecessary but also a misstep. Here’s why the creators should have left Beetlejuice alone and why the follow-up fails to capture the original’s magic, if it ever had any: The charm of Beetlejuice lies in its sheer absurdity, anchored by Michael Keaton’s manic and mostly unforgettable performance as the titular ghost with the most. It was a unique product of its time, combining Burton’s quirky aesthetic with an offbeat script and an equally untalented Danny Elfman score. The movie didn’...

Did you ever expect to be bombarded with advertisements for shapeless moo-moos and orthopedic sandals? Yet here I am, staring at advertisement suggestions that scream, “Hey, southern Indiana!  It’s all elastic waistbands and floral polyester from here on out.” Excuse me, publications of the world, but have you even met the women here?  Do you think they just woke up this morning with a desperate desire to give up on fashion, taste, and life itself just because of a certain “milestone” birthday, so many kids, a certain year of marriage? Do you think the second a woman turns 29+, her wardrobe automatically requires enough fabric to double as a tent? The messaging is insulting, outdated, and reeks of a world that can’t fathom women embracing this phase of their lives with style and vitality. If I see one more ad for a pastel house dress or ankle-high compression socks disguised as “athleisure,” I might scream. Here’s a newsflash for marketers and fashion “gurus” stuck in their ow...

Which Loop Do YOU Make First?  You heard me right. Which loop do you make first when tying your shoes? Tying your shoes. It’s something most of us learned in kindergarten, perfected no later than elementary school, and now do without a second thought. It’s one of those automatic, muscle-memory tasks—like brushing your teeth or checking your phone first thing in the morning.  But — again — here’s the real question: When you tie your shoes, which loop do you make first? This is also an awesome first date question, as well, if you’re currently on the dating scene. If you’re scratching your head, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Most of us don’t consciously think about it. But the answer says more about you than you might realize — or so we’re about to pretend for the sake of this very “important” discussion. If you’re someone who ties their right loop first, congratulations—you’re probably part of the majority. Right-firsters argue it just feels natural, like writing with your domin...

So… my dreams have been absolutely cray-cray recently. I mean, here’s how the whole bizarre, slug-filled dreamfest went down last night: I was out wandering through a lush green and quite serene forest with the sun shining through the branches.  Birds were singing, and everything felt peaceful—until I noticed a turtle, minding its own business, slowly making its way down the path. “Wow, nature is so calming,” I thought. But then, out of nowhere, two slugs slowly slithered onto the scene. They weren’t your ordinary slimy slugs, though. These slugs had attitude. One wore a tiny slug-sized leather jacket, and the other had a bandana tied around its otherwise non-existent neck. They oozed over to the turtle, blocking its path like they owned the forest. Stopping in my tracks, half-confused and half-fascinated, suddenly I’m asking myself what was about to go down here. “Yo,” said the slug in the leather jacket, his voice surprisingly deep for something so small and squishy. “You think y...

Seriously!  How do some people survive?!  Ever just wonder that?  Let me explain: A colleague —  let’s call her Sarah—was always a happy-go-lucky animal lover. Not wrong, just kinda — goofy.  She had a heart of gold, but let’s just say her understanding of how the world worked was… unique. One day, during a casual lunch, the conversation somehow turned to hamburgers. Sarah, mid-bite of her cheeseburger, looked up and said, “You know, I’ve always loved cows. They’re so peaceful. I’m just glad they use cows that die naturally for this stuff.” The entire lunch room froze. “Wait, what?!” someone asked. “Yeah,” Sarah said, completely serious. “I mean, they wouldn’t kill cows for food, right? That would be mean and cruel. They probably just use the ones that, you know, pass away on their own. Like, of old age or something.” The silence was deafening. Then someone—probably trying not to choke on laughter—explained, “Uh, Sarah… no. That’s not how it works. They… um… sla...

It was the 2012 election season, and my friend—let’s just call him Dave to protect the innocent—was trying his best to stay politically informed. He wasn’t exactly a political junkie let’s just say, but he wanted to be part of the at-work conversations.  One day, Dave overheard a fellow coworker passionately talking about Ron Paul and his “radical libertarian ideas.   Only Dave didn’t hear Ron Paul. He heard RuPaul. “Wait,” Dave said, blinking in confusion. “RuPaul is running for president?!” The coworker laughed and totally went with it, saying “Yeah, he’s got a lot of people excited—libertarian, anti-establishment, small government.” Dave frowned, trying to reconcile this description of RuPaul, queen of drag on TV, with a conservative political movement. But instead of asking for clarification, Dave decided to lean in and learn more on his own. Apparently, that night, he Googled “RuPaul 2012 election” and, unsurprisingly, saw nothing about a drag queen running for president....

It all started with an innocent walk in the park. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I was armed with a coffee in one hand and a half-eaten granola bar in the other. Life was good. That is, until I made eye contact with him. Who?  Him?  Yes.  A squirrel. Not just any squirrel—this was the squirrel. You know the type: twitchy tail, shifty eyes, and an unmistakable air of superiority. He stood on the path, staring me down like I’d wandered into his territory. I took a step forward. He took a step closer. “Cute little guy,” I muttered, breaking off a piece of my granola bar. I tossed it in his direction, expecting a polite “thank you” in the form of a scampering retreat. Instead, he darted forward, grabbed the piece, and bolted up a nearby tree. “Alright, cool,” I thought. “Enjoy your snack, little buddy.” But as I turned to leave, I heard it: the distinct sound of something dropping behind me. I looked down. There, at my feet, was the exact piece of granola I’d j...

When it comes to Scooby-Doo , the show’s enduring appeal has always been its quirky mix of humor, mystery, and a colorful cast of characters. But let’s address the 800 pound gorilla in the room here: who’s the sexiest character? While Daphne often takes the spotlight with her stylish outfits and “girl-next-door” charm, I’m here to argue that Thelma (yes, Thelma ) is, in fact, the sexiest character on Scooby-Doo . Yes, you read that right—Thelma, the bookish, sharp-witted, bespectacled member of the Mystery Inc. gang. Forget the stereotypes that boxed her in as the “nerdy sidekick.”Thelma oozed an undeniable allure that makes her an underrated sex symbol. Intelligence has a unique appeal, and Thelma embodies that to the fullest, of course. She’s the brains behind Mystery Inc., consistently solving puzzles, deciphering clues, and outsmarting villains. Without her, the gang would probably still be chasing their own shadows. There’s something inherently sexy about someone who’s alway...

Ever have one of those random moments when a single name or phrase sparks a memory you haven’t thought about in years? That happened to me earlier today. I was calling the local lumberyard, and the guy picked up and said, “Donnie here.” And just like that, my mind went straight to Marky Mark. You see, in his hit song “Good Vibrations,” Marky Mark famously shouts out “Donnie D!”—as in Donnie Wahlberg, his older brother, Funky Bunch member, and original New Kid on the Block. Hearing that little twist on the name was enough to send me into a full nostalgia spiral, reminiscing about how awesome Marky Mark really was.  But… it was actually Donnie G that answered the phone today.  Whatever!  Donnie G, D, C, XYZ! Anyway… Marky Mark wasn’t just a star—he was a whole vibe. Remember that?! First, let’s talk about Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch . In the early ‘90s, Mark Wahlberg wasn’t the Hollywood mogul we know today. He was Marky Mark, the shirtless, chain-wearing frontman of a ...

The debate over marijuana legalization has swept across the United States, with 23 states and Washington, D.C. now permitting recreational use, and many others allowing it for medicinal purposes. Yet Indiana remains one of the few states that continues to fully prohibit cannabis. As the evidence continues to mount in favor of legalization, it becomes increasingly clear that Indiana is missing out on significant economic, social, and medical benefits. By legalizing marijuana, the state could not only boost its economy but also improve public health, ensure social justice, and reduce the burden on law enforcement. Aside from just being a stick in the mud, one of the most compelling arguments for marijuana legalization is its potential to boost Indiana’s economy. States like Colorado and Illinois have reaped significant financial rewards since legalizing cannabis. In 2023 alone, Colorado collected over $325 million in marijuana taxes and fees. Illinois generated more than $445 million in ...