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Why the Moon is Fake, and What NASA Doesn’t Want You to Know

Okay so, full disclosure, I didn’t go to “journalism school” or whatever. But like, I’ve watched a TON of documentaries on YouTube and I once interviewed my neighbor’s cousin who works at an airport, so I feel like I know what I’m doing.

So, let’s get into it!

The other night I was outside looking up at the sky, because that’s what I do when I can’t sleep (or when I eat too many sour gummy worms), and I saw the moon. But something seemed… off. It looked too perfect. Too… round. Like a lamp or maybe a balloon. And that’s when I realized: the moon might not be real, you know?

I did some deep research (i.e. Googled “Is the moon fake?”) and you would be SHOCKED at what I found. Did you know that NASA stands for Not A Single Answer? Because every time you ask them a question, they give you “science” instead of the real truth.

Also, fun fact: I read somewhere that the moon emits light. But if the sun is supposed to be the light source, then how come the moon is shiny AT NIGHT? Checkmate, scientists.

Some theories I came across say the moon was actually invented by the government in 1969 to distract people from taxes. I think this holds some water, because nobody can explain why the moon has craters but also looks smooth in photos. It’s like: are you rocky, or are you soft? Pick a side, moon.  And, by the way, no one likes taxes either, so totally plausable.

Let me tell you something else: I tried to call NASA to ask for a statement, but their number just gave me an answering machine that said something about “visitor tours” being closed, which is basically an admission of guilt if you think about it.

In conclusion, the moon is suspicious, probably fake, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a giant camera watching all of us. Stay safe out there, and remember to question everything. Even cheese.

Until next time!

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