SimpliPatti

Some people are morning people, but I am not. I am the goblin that guards the realm of night owls. I gave 5 a.m. a chance, and it rejected me.  And honestly? I’m okay with that. So, p ass me the coffee -- at noon -- like nature intended. Here is a diary of my week-long experiment: Day 1: Ambition, Meet Reality I set my alarm for 5:00 a.m., laid out my workout clothes, prepped a healthy breakfast, and fell asleep dreaming of being *That* Person—you know, the one who drinks green juice and radiates peace by 6 a.m. Cut to me smacking my alarm like it insulted my entire bloodline, crawling out of bed like a resurrected Victorian child, and sitting in silence with one eye open, holding a banana like I forgot what food is. Workout: Cancelled. Mood: Combative. Did I meditate? No. I stared at my wall and thought about how dang early it was. Day 2: I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore I tried sunrise stretching. Spoiler: I almost fell fully asleep on the floor and woke up angry.  Also, ...

It all started so innocently. I was procrastinating, as one does, and thought, “Hey, I’ll take an online quiz that popped up in my social media fee to figure out my spirit vegetable.” You know, for science. Twenty minutes, three personality crises, and one suspicious result later, I’m still unsure how my favorite Muppets character and choice of breakfast pastry led to me being told I’m emotionally aligned with… a celery stick. Celery.   Dry. Crunchy. Full of water and trauma.  But that was just the beginning.   Read on: The Vegetable Awakening Quiz 1: “What Spirit Vegetable Are You Based on Your Weekend Plans?” I picked “nap,” “more nap,” and “eating snacks in bed,” which felt deeply honest. Result? Celery. Apparently, I’m “chill, reliable, and often overlooked but important in soup.” So, now I’m a background character in a stew?! Wow! My self-esteem is seasoning-dependent. Quiz 2: “Design a Dream House and We’ll Reveal Your Inner Pasta Shape” Because that makes to...

In the realm of language, few words stir debate as much as “ain’t.” Often dismissed by traditionalist grammarians and teachers, this contraction has sparked discussions among linguists, writers, and everyday speakers, but let's explore the origins, usage, and controversies surrounding “ain’t,” inviting you -- the readers -- to reconsider what it means for a word to be “correct.” The word “ain’t” first emerged in the early days of English. Originally used as a contraction for “am not,” it eventually evolved to represent other negations, such as “is not,” “are not,” “has not,” and even “have not.” Over time, “ain’t” became a flexible, all-purpose negator in everyday speech. Its ability to condense multiple forms of negation into one simple word contributed to its widespread use, despite the criticisms of some purists. Traditional grammar rules label “ain’t” as -- gasp! -- a non-standard contraction. Critics argue that its use in formal writing or academic contexts undermines the clar...